A coconut is hollowed out and attached by a rope to a tree or stake in the ground. At the bottom of the coconut a small slit is made and some sweet food is placed inside. The hole on the bottom is just big enough for the monkey to slide in his open hand, but does not allow for a closed fist to pass out. The monkey smells the sweets, reaches in with his hand to grasp the food and is then unable to withdraw it. The clenched fist won’t pass through the opening.
When the hunters come, the monkey becomes frantic but cannot get away. There is no one keeping that monkey captive, except the force of his own attachment. All that he has to do is open his hand. But so strong is the force of greed in the mind that it is a rare monkey which can let go.
It is the desires and clinging in our minds which keep us trapped. All we need do is open our hands, let go of our selves, our attachments, and be free.
(Excerpt from: "The Experience of Insight" by Joseph Goldstein)
Vincent Price, was a bit of a Renaissance man...good at a lot of things...a famous actor, a gourmet cook who co-authored a cookbook with his wife, he collaborated with the famous director Tim Burton (Edward Scissorhands) and did voice over work on Michael Jackson's album "Thriller".  |
| Page from Sears Catalog offering fine art recommended by Vincent Price. |
He wrote an art book in 1959. It has a catchy title that is a play on art appreciation.
Most people know very little about art appreciation.
[I know little to nothing about art appreciation, therefore "most" people know very little about art appreciation!]
Perfectly logical!
However, people say when looking at a painting...they know what they like, and give a particular art piece a thumbs up or down based on very little actual understanding or knowledge of why they think one way or the other.
Vincent Price's book was entitled:
"I Like What I Know".
I like what I know!
It's true! The familiar is comfortable. We like what we know. We like knowing what to expect. We like feeling comfy, cozy, snuggly and the feeling of having it all together.
It has been my life's ambition to remain as "comfortable" as I can be.
I don't like to get my shoes and thus my feet wet.
I don't like to feel hot. My wife accuses me of setting our thermostat at home to the "Hang Beef" setting. (I say if you can't see your breath, it's not too cold in the house!)
I don't like change unless it involves a diaper and someone else doing the changing of the nappy!
Actually if someone else wants to reform and change themselves I say more power to them!
Me? Well now, what's not to like about me??
I'm...well I'm
a,
I'm a regular 'Good time Charlie' that's what I am!
My story and I'm sticking with it!
And I'm just like the monkey, his fist clenched inside the coconut holding on to the 'prize' for dear life!
You knew I'd get around to the monkey eventually didn't you??
Meh! Now we are talking UNCOMFORTABLE!
Einstein said that the definition of insanity is to keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting different outcomes from the time before.
Well, I've been alot crazy where food is concerned all of my life.
I consider it progress to be able to at least acknowlege that much. But it's not "comfortable".
Overeating to soothe my feelings (whatever those are) has always been my plan. I've held to that "solution" with a clenched fist, even to my own detriment.
And I lost my freedom just like the greedy little monkey lost his.
So I seesaw back and forth. I can handle food, I cannot handle food. I can control my food intake, I cannot control my food intake. I can eat sanely, I can be insane when it comes to eating compulsively.
I watch very carefully what I eat, weighing and measuring, I eat anything and everything with a devil-may-care attitude. I don't eat when I'm hungry, I eat~eat~eat~EAT~EAT!!! and cannot stop even when my stomach hurts from being so NOT HUNGRY!!
I am the greedy monkey with the clenched fist!
And I am so not in control or free!
I have come to the conclusion only God can help me.....DUH!
This week I had the most significant weight gain in the last eleven months. I gained weight last week too.
Yet tonight as I write this I feel amazingly serene.
Today, I have eaten "abstinently" according to the definition of Overeaters Anonymous.
I followed my food plan, ate enough for nutrition and unclenched my fist a little bit.
For this one day I have eaten sanely.
One day at a time.
That's how it goes.
Perhaps my fist will remained unclenched long enough to actually pull my hand free from the coconut?
But that is for tomorrow to decide, today I look to my spiritual horizon and see Jesus calling me to freedom.
No comments:
Post a Comment