FAT MAN, THIN MAN, FATTER MAN...GOOD GRIEF!! I have been "overweight" or whatever other descriptive you care to use to call me fat, most all of my life with occasional spurts of weight loss. I've been up and down the scale several times, (mostly up) and have gained and lost over 300+ pounds in my life. However, I've begun to see myself as more than just a "fat" person...it gets easier to take on a different outlook when one doesn't fight for every breath, or have joints scream in pain every time you move. For the story of what got me to this point please click on the page: "HOW DID I GET HERE?"

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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

“God opposes the proud, but favors the humble.”

If I consider myself strong, that is when I am at my weakest. 

When I was down 104 pounds from my starting point,  (about a year and 30 pounds ago) I had this weight management thing down!  Just ask me...I'll show you how it's done! Woot, woot!

I may not have said it in those terms, but I was feeling pretty full of myself.  It is tremendously rewarding to lose 100 pounds!  You will never get tired of the "atta-boys" that come your way.  Basically you start believing your own press.

Granted, I felt (and feel) much better than before I started eating healthier.  Losing weight definitely puts a skip in my walk!  But at my age and life experience, I should have realised that as far as weight management and I go, there is nothing more than the thickness of a slice of  hickory smoked, maple flavored, center cut (what was I saying??) OH!...bacon between me and slipping back into compulsive overeating.

 Daily living sort of comes along and smacks you upside the head.

When I was at the pinnacle of weight loss a year ago, I began to take for granted, that "I" could do this and really to be perfectly honest, I forgot the team effort that had gotten me to that point.  The training wheels were off and you were gonna just watch me swoosh!

While I was "swooshing", I did not miss one weight management class or weigh in. 

BUT....there's always a but! 

I gradually relaxed my diligence over what went into my mouth.  Mostly quantity over high fat alternatives, though obviously I didn't gain back 30 pounds by overdosing on celery and performing too much exercise!  I relaxed on keeping a thorough food diary...the same story mostly on all the other tools I used to lose the original weight. 

It didn't motivate me to write much on this blog...turns out everyone loves a winner at losing but I didn't even want to hear what I had to say for awhile.  

I can say I'm not on a diet, that I'm learning how to change my eating habits for the rest of my life.  After almost 22 months on this journey, saying it and living it sometimes has a wide gap between them. 

It's only fun a little bit when the scale is being your friend...it can be horrid when it starts going the wrong way!  Sometimes the thought of having to eat with a guard over my mouth is very intimidating and exhausting! 

 The pain of being grossly overweight has to remain in front of me to know that that is more painful than being on food patrol the rest of my life.

It's neccesary or bury me in a piano case.

So, I remain committed, weak, wary and trying to stay humble about this thing called weight management. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

'OUCH.......THE truth does hurt.......BUT, (there's that word again!) it's a good/bad hurt. No pain no gain doesn't always mean EXERCISE! Truth can be painful but if it means telling it like it is...admitting we have a problem.....then we gain some kind of (hopefully helpful,) sometimes painful message. This past month(& up to this minute) i have HATED this journey. I have had little if any desire to stay on program UNLESS I'm full...then of course..."I'm determined"! grrrr.... i disppoint myself but i guess not enough to get back on track and STAY there.! I just want to get to a decent weight so i feel good about the numbers. I am having trouble staying within gaining and loosing 8 to 9 lbs. It feels like i've gained it all back. I HATE what i think and depressed that i'm so weak. I know i'm not alone but does that help.?....to be honest....NO. Thankyou so much for your blogs and coming back to what seems to help you AND me. Please keep them coming....i know this is for a life time. I have a life time. I will do this......UNTIL~ Sue Jazzer

Anonymous said...

I appreciate your honesty in your blog. I hope that you will be around for a long time, but our weight (yours and mine) is a factor in that. Let's determine to be better stewards of the health God has given us. Thanks for writing. God is talking to me about things I need to do to get into better shape.