In 1990 I broke down, went to Weight Watchers and lost 118 pounds weighing in at 183.
The following 20 years of denial got me back up to a whopping 379 pounds!
So far in 2011 I'm up to 304 pounds.
When I crossed the 100 pound threshold in August of 2011 something broke again.
It seems my motivation, my will (or as I call it my won't) collapses after a certian time on a strict weight management regimen.
It takes me years to get in the right frame of mind, and then it seems it's all or nothing for several months of healthy weight management...and then I break...again.
At first it was a "green break". I was bending just far enought to fray around the edges of my eating, and started going up and down the same few pounds. Lately though the tear has widened and now it's mostly ups rather than downs at the scale.
I am no longer on a "diet". I am learning "weight management". Learning to live with eating patterns that will sustain weight loss and healthier living. I have learned alot about what works, and lately, even more about what doesn't.
I don't think I have another 20 years to waste to get and stay in the proper weight management frame of mind.
Writing about it seems to help.
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