MARVELOUS AND WONDERFUL THINGS

"This is God's Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: 'Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own. " Jeremiah 33:2

I can’t do it myself.

Even though I have lost a lot of weight in years past, I have always gained back EVERY SINGLE POUND…AND MORE!

There was no “winning” the “losing” battle for me.

In fact, it is so embarrassing to lose weight and then gain it all back plus,
I had given up trying to ever get thin again.

I wanted to just be contentedly fat and forget about it.

Losing weight and regaining it is a very public venture when you’ve been as large as I have been and then experience significant weight loss.

The compliments are pure delight! (And people finally feel free to tell you how horrible you looked and how worried that you would drop over dead of a heart attack someday.)

Sigh.

However, they eventually stop when the “new thin you” becomes the “new normal you”. If you’re lucky enough to keep you weight off for awhile, you just become another regular looking person.

No problem there.

Just start gaining weight back though, lots of problems here!

There are a normal circle of friends and acquaintances that see you regularly enough that the weight gains may be subtle enough they won’t notice the first thirty pounds or so. But the first double-take you get from someone you haven’t seen in awhile is devastating!

I can always fill in what they are thinking…”Wow, he’s let himself go again!” or “When will he ever learn?” or even worse, “There goes dead man walking.” (Or in my case “shuffling”.)
Please God, let me just crawl under a rock and die! Instead of the scarlet letter “A” make mine a triple “F” for Freakin’ Fat Failure!!

By the way, people think about you a lot less than you think they do. You are not the center of anyone’s universe except your own.


I filled in these thoughts that I assumed other people were thinking of me from my own bad feelings way more than people actually took time to think about me.

Of course, when you’re me, the immediate solution to feeling that “unclean” is to order a “garbage” pizza with lots of extra cheese! Go home, turn off the phone, sit in the dark and channel surf TV the rest of your life.

If you don’t know what a “garbage” pizza is, you don’t have a weight problem.

• If you have bad feelings and want to cry (or put your fist through the wall)…eat food! Eating always makes anything and everything better!
Always!!
Note…There may be enough food in the world to make me feel better, but I’ll never be able to eat it all!
• Be the life of the party, maybe people will like you in spite of being a rotund freak.
• Be “jolly” and make self-deprecating jokes: “I’m so fat my beeper went off and people thought I was backing up!” Or my personal favorite: “I can’t get a suntan! Every time I lay out at the beach, people gather around me, cry ‘Beached Whale!’ and roll me back in the ocean!”
So I had given up riding the roller coaster of fat man, thinner man, fatter man…GOOD GRIEF!

Just let me be a “comfortable fat”… (whatever that means).

I tried that from waist size 38” to 54” this last time.

At no time did I ever level off.
I never really stopped “watching my weight” even when I was in total denial about what I looked like and how I really felt. I just watched my weight increase.
Watching your weight…increase or decrease is your choice.

I cannot (to date) just maintain. Though I have high hopes that I am getting the tools this time around to do so.

People who don’t have a weight problem just watch what and how much they eat automatically. Hence they don’t struggle with their weight, but they make correct choices consistently… (or they have a pact with the Devil!)

So I cannot do it myself, but God has helped me. He has shown me “marvelous and wondrous things that I could never figure out on my own”.

Largely this time thru Mercy Weight Loss Center, specifically Megan, Heather, Jennifer and Ashley.

Does God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit use places and people like that?

All the time!

They have shown me “marvelous and wondrous things that I could never figure out on my own” about weight loss, nutrition and weight management.
A fact of which I am eternally grateful for!

And these are some more of the heavy thoughts that circle around in my brain, (sometimes prompted by the Holy Spirit), urging me towards lighter living.