The business I’m in revolves in large part around the agricultural seasons of planting and harvest. That is to say, it gets really busy at work during harvest time.
Insanely busy and stressful plus I feel extra tired.
So why does that matter?
Well it should come as no surprise that busyness, stress and fatigue for me used to equal overeating.
Overeating in general and just plain eating…a lot!
So now what do I do?
I’ve been working on weight management for about eight months. Some days I’m right on target, but some days I eat, feel full, and still want to eat more.
Sigh.
Food has always meant more to me than just getting my nutritional needs met.
Food of course has no real capacity to solve any problem or make me feel better. Intellectually I know this…emotionally “maybe just a little more food will do the trick.”
Do what exactly?
Make me feel better?
Do I feel “bad”?
I don’t know.
When did I ever stop to analyze what or why I was eating? Shut up and pass the ketchup!
All week I’ve wanted to eat more than what my stomach will comfortably hold.
I’m suffering from what I can only call “weight management fatigue.”
It gets tiring to always be on guard. To think about every morsel I put into my mouth. To wonder if I really am eating something because I’m hungry or because I’m lonely, bored, angry or tired? Heck! I just want to eat!!
This is honesty. It’s one thing to watch your weight and make considered positive choices concerning your nutritional needs; but now I need to start lifting the veil under which scary emotions and feelings dwell. Why have I done (and do) what I’ve done concerning food?
What is food substituting for?
Can I really permanently change how and what I eat?
I want to be healthy. It was a literal hell for my body and I one hundred pounds ago! However, I also want to eat whatever I want with no cares about calories or their consequences.
I’m not completely sure but I believe that what I just wrote is mutually exclusive of one another. (Wry grin)
So I guess we’ll see.
Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
I’ve lost weight and regained all that weight and more all my life.
I really want to be done with that crazy cycle!
Heavy thoughts? Definitely!
Here’s to those heavy thoughts leading down the path of continued light living!
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