THE UNGODLY POWER OF ONE STRING BEAN (part three)

"We admitted we were powerless over our food compulsion -  that our lives had become unmanageable."  Step One from Overeaters Anonymous

It's an inexact science for me.  "Science" is an inaccurate description.  My daily "practices" of weight management fundamentally is a practice of daily "right thinking/right living/right eating and being "right" with God spiritually.

Who doesn't want to do right?

Being right with God is or can be a slippery slope.  It depends a lot on ones "belief system".

Overeaters Anonymous uses the term "Higher Power" so as not to offend any one's delicate senses.  My interpretation  of why they they use the term "Higher Power" is it allows people to fill in their own blank where God is concerned and minimizes the resistance to the spiritual aspect of their program.

Ultimately the 12 step program of Overeaters Anonymous is a spiritual program.

Without God in your life in a directed way, staying sober, being free from compulsive overeating, whatever, is not a likely outcome.

It is a daily issue.  

Dieting is daily. 

Weight management is daily.

A relationship with God should be daily. 

Can be daily.

I in no way represent anything "official" from OA.

I am just a struggler with food, being fat, being unhealthy being in denial about it. 

I write about it to "sort it out" in my mind.


I write about it to resist denial that I have a problem with food.

I write to be held accountable to myself, God and others.


I have never fought so hard  in my life for anything...ever.

I am up 5 pounds over the last 13 weeks.

This and the previous 2 posts have discussed the "freedom" to do what is right.

That freedom comes from submitting to God.

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore our sanity."
-Step 2 for Overeaters Anonymous.

I'm insane?  As regarding compulsively overeating?

YES.

The OA program promises that God can restore our sanity regarding food...IF we are willing.

So am I now an apostle of Overeaters Anonymous?

Well the short answer is no.

I am, for the first time in my life, able to think more clearly about my life and how screwed up I have made it by overeating incessantly.

That being said, being aware of what is going on a little bit is not being free from compulsive overeating.

If I work the spiritual aspects of this program daily, I may be able to figure out how to "let" God relieve me of my compulsiveness with food and eating.

What would it be like to live each day, without the demands of food that require me to eat and eat and eat?

What would it be like to have peace of mind?  This serenity...this freedom to really live?

I still will use the weight loss center I've been attending for the last 11 months.  I need to weigh in once a week...to be held accountable.  The tools I've learned there are invaluable to me.

I will continue to attend Overeaters Anonymous meetings and read all the materials affiliated with it.

I am trusting God, the Lord Jesus Christ, my Higher Power to give me the true freedom to eat sanely, to break the ungodly power of [one single green bean, one curd of cottage cheese, one crust of toast] that by myself, I cannot leave on the plate uneaten.

I trust that this will truly be a happy, sane New Year.