TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS

"Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool..."

Yep, that's me.

I want to love eating healthy and the results of lost weight, better health, smaller clothes, fewer meds, and not always avoiding mirrors.

On the other hand I really love Jerry's pizza with everything including the ingredients they normally don't put on the pizza when some one orders everything!  

I found that out several years ago. 

 I ordered everything on the pizza and they said does that include Canadian bacon and black olives?  I said well isn't that normally on an "everything" pizza? They said no, not unless it was SPECIFICALLY ordered.  I said well, I'm specifically ordering it to be included on my everything pizza.

Actually we used to call them "garbage pizzas" because of all the ingredients.  OH!  And extra cheese too!

Nice rare sirloins hot off the grill, noodles, fresh baked bread...and various other things I put into my mouth that never satisfied very long. 

I was always looking for the next food fix.

What combinations of food can I eat that will satisfy my hunger, taste great and...

And what?

That's as far as I got.

"What combinations of food can I eat that will satisfy my hunger, taste great..."

The satisfaction, if one can even truly call it that, was always~always~always short-lived!

While I was eating whatever unhealthy (or even occasionally something healthy) food that was on the plate (or in my hand or on YOUR plate!) I would be thinking about what I would be eating  for my next meal. 

Usually that meant I would be eating all day long non-stop, except to go pee.  Come to think of it that was most days!

You always knew when it was going to be a "BIG" eating day.  My chair would be sitting in front of the open refrigerator door!

Really doesn't sound like any amount of food can "satisfy" does it?

Food that is eaten compulsively and not eaten to satisfy true hunger and nutritional needs is like a lady of the evening offering "true love".

She may look enticing, she may smell nice, she may say all the right words and convince you to eat now and diet tomorrow...but she will lead you to hell.  But not before heaping lots of guilt and shame on first!

I have never been sorry for food that I did not eat.

Never.

So torn between two lovers I can...

 Choose to live a crappy life over-abundantly with food

                                      OR

live life with better health and fewer platters.

Is it even really a choice?

Yes it is...only God can help me choose real life.

Left on my own...

...Think I'll go close the refrigerator door now.