FAT MAN, THIN MAN, FATTER MAN...GOOD GRIEF!! I have been "overweight" or whatever other descriptive you care to use to call me fat, most all of my life with occasional spurts of weight loss. I've been up and down the scale several times, (mostly up) and have gained and lost over 300+ pounds in my life. However, I've begun to see myself as more than just a "fat" person...it gets easier to take on a different outlook when one doesn't fight for every breath, or have joints scream in pain every time you move. For the story of what got me to this point please click on the page: "HOW DID I GET HERE?"

All images taken from the Internet and assumed to be in the public domain, unless otherwise noted. If you believe an image infringes your rights in any way then please inform me and I will remove it swiftly.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

PILOTS VS. MECHANICS

PILOTS vs MECHANICS


Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on
the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident...


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you 're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget
Posted by at
Labels:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)